when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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