A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
