We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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