He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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