just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
