What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I still have a little drunk in my system
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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