there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
