My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
