Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize