why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
