I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
