if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
