part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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