actually, I'm a sock model
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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