that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
