Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
