Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
