my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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