the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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