Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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