there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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