Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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