dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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