That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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