And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
