I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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