where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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