dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
