I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
