Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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