let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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