I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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