You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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