I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
