im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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