unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
