i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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