Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
