I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The best revenge is premature balding
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
