is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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