She said her name was "party"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize