Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
