Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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