You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
