My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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