Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
