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Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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