Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He better not be in your backpack
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
