I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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