so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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