For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
