You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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