fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
