You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
