where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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