you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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