do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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