You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
