wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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