Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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