are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
