i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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