I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
