Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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