I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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