omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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