Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
