Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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