I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
