dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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