Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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