Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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