even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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