she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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